Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
