# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
