butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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