My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
