try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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