somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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