Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
