WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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