good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
