Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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