I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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