"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
