bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
