Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
