I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
