We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When are your genitals available?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
