At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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