i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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