I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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