and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
