Fuck appropriateness.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
