Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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