I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
