he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
