matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
