i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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