need another drink. this is the easiest way
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
