we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
