Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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