i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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