he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
