Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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