Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
