I'm gonna have a badass scar
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
