She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
