Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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