Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
