you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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