Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
