This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
