I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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