My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
