You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
