How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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