How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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