Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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