she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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