On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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