me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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