Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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