You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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