we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
