I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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